Saved
by AnonymousRed
Summary: Damon's thoughts on Elena..Pre Blood Brothers.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to L.J Smith.

BTW you may have noticed this story was up and then taken down..I had thought I put the disclaimer and what I put at the bottom on the document..but I didn't lol soo I made the necessary changes and it should be all good now! =)

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He would never understand why in the world she trusted him. Why she thought she saw some shred of humanity in him that wasn't there. She was romanticizing him. Believing him to be the tortured misunderstood bad boy who eventually turned good. Well, that wasn't him. His humanity was gone, and it wasn't coming back. At least, that was the goal. Elena Gilbert seemed to have other plans. Those infuriating warm dark eyes. That sweet concerned tone she used with him. The brief but meaningful touches she always gave him. Each was a message. A promise. But what was it? He really didn't want to dwell on it. It just brought up those stupid human emotions. The ones that made his chest hurt. The ones that started to make him feel something he'd never allowed himself to feel in centuries. _Hope_. The stupidest emotion of them all. He couldn't risk that emotion. It was misleading and merciless. It made him think about all the what ifs, and if he started thinking about those.. he was a goner. Hope was misleading.. But the most dangerous emotion of them all was _love_. Love always ended up hurting in the end. Love was the one he really couldn't feel. It was a trap.. A sweet looking apple with poison inside. Love only ended in despair.

He knew all of this, and yet he just couldn't stop. He couldn't stop the hope that bloomed inside of him whenever her beautiful eyes caught his. Whenever her glowing smile tilted his way. Whenever she stood up for him to anyone and everyone because she saw something in him no one else did. That he didn't want anyone to see. Then the what ifs came. What if she wasn't with his obnoxious younger brother? What if she loved him, and not Stefan? What if Elena was his. Those were the thoughts marked with a red **X**. The thoughts underneath the thin sheet of ice that he was carefully trying not to fall in.

He was disgusted with himself. He wasn't Stefan, who analyzed every thought and feeling and talked about it like a dumb girl. He was Damon, the one who didn't give a damn. It sucks that he really did. He did give a damn. He tried to let the thought sink in, but it burned. He cared about Elena. He cared whether she lived or died. He cared when she was hurt or scared. He cared when she cried. He cared whether or not she smiled in his direction, or when her eyes sought his. He didn't know when she had started filling his every thought like this, but he knew he didn't like it. As much as he hated his brother, he didn't want history to repeat itself. Unless Elena was his. Only his.

He closed his eyes in frustration. All he saw were her deep brown eyes staring into his soul, or whatever it was he had. This seemed to be an everyday occurrence now. He always saw her when his eyes were closed… or open for that matter. She was _everywhere_.

She thought she saw something in him, but she really didn't. Anger and reality rammed into him suddenly. He was not to be saved. He wanted to be emotionless and unfeeling. He knew he was starting to slip. He needed to be more like his vampire side. He needed to turn it off…

But why did it feel like he would be letting her down? He knew if he reverted to his old self she would be upset and disappointed in him. Maybe that was better for her. Better for her to deem him the trouble maker again. Then she would see the soulless jerk everyone else saw him as. No more smiles that sent his stomach into his throat. No more warm understanding eyes. No more Elena.

Those last thoughts made him feel empty. They tore the hope right out of him. Well, at least they were good for something. He should just leave her alone, let her be with Stefan. It's what he should have done, if he was a selfless person.

But Damon was selfish. He wanted Elena to be his, more than anything else he'd ever wanted.

_More than Katherine._

And he decided he didn't want to let go of Elena. He decided he liked hope for right now.

Damon realized in that second that he was a man in love. A selfish man in love. As hard as he fought, she managed to wheedle her way in his carefully protected heart. It was not exactly a terrible thing he decided. He liked her there. So now that he had fallen through the ice and analyzed his feelings like a teenaged girl, he decided there was something else he needed to figure out.

How to get rid of his annoying brother and have Elena all for himself.

This was going to get interesting.

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Hey everyone! This is my first story and I played it safe with a one-shot lol

Anyway review if you liked it, review if you didn't..but if you didn't let me know what you didn't like in a nice and constructive way so I can improve please! =)


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